I am ready to admit it - I am a lover girl.

I crave it.

Yearn for it.

Love.

Romantic love.

A forever love.

I did know, but I think it has been hidden by a myriad of different experiences.

Perhaps related to the “cool-girl” troupe. The pretend you do not care what men think, pretend you are chill with everything they do (even when they behave badly) or risk being labelled as desperate or controlling and therefore, unappealing (through the male gaze that is).

Perhaps it is related to the societal pressure that tells us what a woman should want. The feeling like you are playing into that, if you happen to desire some of those same things.

Perhaps it is related to the challenge of discerning my desire for love from my desire to just find a place that I belong. Not realising how that was a manifestation of childhood wounds, and as such I was willing to attach to anyone and anything.